The Tales of the Professors of Hogwarts
by Fungi Fulton
Summary: The Tales of Beedle the Bard, retold by the Professors of Hogwarts.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: The Warlock's Hairy Heart**

Albus Dumbledore sat at his desk in his office, rubbing his eyes. He was tired. Having an argument with Severus Snape always made you feel exhausted. Albus had just talked with Severus about women. Of course Severus had objected that he didn't want to marry, not after what happened to Lily Evans.

The Headmaster of Hogwarts liked to read. Of course he had a copy of _The Tales of Beedle the Bard_. It was one of his favorite books. Albus took it and opened it. He began to read. The more he read the more he thought of something. He took a parchment and a quill and began to write.

_There was once a handsome, rich and talented young warlock, named Severus Snape. He observed that his friends became foolish as soon as they fell in love. The young warlock resolved to never fall in prey to such weakness, and employed Dark Arts to ensure his immunity._

_Unaware of his secret, Severus's family laughed to see him so aloof and cold. _

_"He'll change," they said, "as soon as a maid catches his eyes!"_

_But Severus's fancy remained untouched. Although many maids came to try and please him, none succeeded. Not a single one of them could touch his heart. Severus gloried in his indifference and the sagacity that had produced it._

_The warlock's friends began to wed and to forth children. _

_"Their hearts must be husks," Severus sneered inwardly. He observed the young parents around him disgustedly. "Shriveled by the demands of these mewling offspring."_

_Once again he congratulated himself for choosing not to fall for any maid._

_In due course, the warlock's aged parents died. Their son Severus did not mourn them: he felt himself blessed. He alone reigned over the castle. Having transferred the greatest treasure to the deepest dungeon, he gave himself over to a life of ease. The only aim of his many servants was his comfort._

_Severus was sure that be must be an object of immense importance and envy to all who beheld his splendid and untroubled solitude. Aggressive was his anger and chagrin, therefore, when he overheard two of his servants discussing their master one day._

_The first servant, named Hermione, expressed pity for the warlock who was beloved by nobody,_

_But his companion, Harry, jeered, asking why a man as rich as their master was unable to attract a wife._

_These words dealt dreadful blows to Severus's pride._

_He resolved to take a wife, and that she'd be a wife possessing astounding beauty, exciting envy and desire in every man who beheld her; she'd spring from magical lineage, so that their offspring would inherit brilliant magical gifts; and that she'd be as wealthy as him, so that his comfortable existence would be assured despite of additions to his household._

_It might have taken Severus fifty years to find such a woman, yet it happened that the next day a maiden named Lily, answering his every wish, arrived in the neighborhood to visit her family._

_Lily was a witch of extraordinarily skill and possessed much gold. Her beauty could not be beaten by another woman: it was such that it tugged at the heart of every man who set eyes on her; of every man except one. Severus's heart felt nothing at all. Even so, Lily was the prize he sought, so he began to pay her court._

_Everyone who noticed the warlock's change in manners was amazed, and said to the maiden that she'd succeeded doing something that hundred others had failed to do._

_The young woman herself was both fascinated and rejected by Severus's behavior. She sensed the coldness that lay behind the warmth of his flattery, and had never met a man so weird and lonesome. Her family deemed theirs a most appropriate match and, eager to help, accepted Severus's invitation to a great feast in Lily's honor. _

_The table was full with silver and gold bearing the finest wines and the most luxuries foods. Minstrels strummed kn silk-stringed lutes and sand a love the warlock had never felt. Lily sat on a throne beside Severus, who spoke low, maintaining words of tenderness he had token from the poets, without any idea of their true meaning._

_Lily listened, irritated, and finally replied, "You speak well, Severus, and I would be delighted if I only thought you had a heart!"_

_Severus smiled, and said to her that she did not need to fear on that score. Commanding her follow, he led Lily away from the feast, and down to where he kept his greatest treasure. _

_Here, in an enchanted crystal container, was Severus's beating heart._

_Long since disconnected from eyes, ears and fingers, it'd never fallen to beauty. Lily was terrified by the looks of it: the heart was cadaverous and covered in long black hair._

_"Oh, what did you do to it?" she bawled. "Put it back where it belongs, I beg you!"_

_Knowing that this was necessary to please her, Severus drew his wand, unlocked the crystal container, cut open his breast and put the hairy hear into the empty cavity it had once occupied. _

_"Now you are healed and will know love," the maiden called out, and she hugged him._

_The tough of her soft arms, the noise of her breath in his ear, the smell of her heavy gold hair: all of that bored into the newly awakened heart like javelins. But it had grown strange during its long exile, blind and untamed in the darkness to which it had been fated, and its hunger had grown powerful and utterly reprehensible in nature._

_The guests at the feast had mentioned the absence of their host and Lily. At first not troubled, they grew frightened as the hours passed, and finally began to search the castle._

_They found the dungeon at last, and an unpleasant and gory sight met them there._

_Lily lay dead on the floor, her breast sliced open, and beside her kneed Severus, holding in one with blood covered hand a smooth, shining heart which he brushed with his lips and rubbed, promising to exchange it for his own._

_In his other hand the warlock held his wand, trying to persuade by gentle persistently urging the shriveled, hairy heart. But the hairy heart was more powerful than he was, and refused to give up its hold upon his senses or go back to the funerary box in which it'd been locked in for so long._

_Before the fearful eyes of his guests, Severus threw away his wand, and seized a dagger. Promising to never be mastered by his own heart, he cut it from his chest with a rough blow._

_For one moment, Severus knelt triumphantly with a heart held tightly in each hand; then he fell over Lily's body, and died._

_

* * *

_A/N: If there are any spelling mistakes, please point them out to me and I'll try to fix them as soon as possible.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:Babbity Rabbity and her cackling stump**

"Ha. Ha. You think this is funny, Albus?"

"Yes, I actually think it's funny imagining you being a heartless warlock," Dumbledore chuckled. "But then, you are heartless anyway."

"This is outrageous!" Severus roared, pointing at the parchment in front of him. "How could I ever kill her? If someone here is heartless than you!" Furiously he stormed out of the Headmaster Office.

Back in his quarters he sat down at his desk. Although he still had to mark some homeworks for the next day, Albus had made him think. Why not write a tale of Beedle the Bard using some else's name? Then suddenly he had an idea. Severus smirked. What Albus could that could he do too.

_Once upon a time, in a far-off land, there lived an old, most foolish king named Albus Dumbledore. He decided that he alone should have the power of magic._

_Albus therefore commanded the head of his huge army to form a Brigade of With-Hunters, and delivered them with a pack of bloodthirsty black hounds. At the same time, Albus brought about announcements to be read in every single village and town across the land:_

_Wanted by the King Albus Dumbledore, an Instructor in Magic._

_No true witch or wizard dared to offer their help, for they were all in hiding from the Brigade of Witch-Hunters._

_However, a young and cunning charlatan named Horace Slughorn with no magical power saw a chance of increasing his treasures. He arrived at the palace, claiming to be a wizard of enormous talent. Horace performed a few simple, clever, dexterous acts. These acts convinced foolish Dumbledore of his magical ability, and was instantly appointed Grand Sorcerer in Chief, the King Albus Dumbledore's Private Magic Master. _

_The charlatan bade the King give him a huge sack of gold coins, so that he might obtain wands and other magical means needed to support the learning of magic. He also requested several large rubies which would be used in the casting of health-giving charms, and one or two silver goblets for the collecting and maturing of potions. All these things foolish Dumbledore provided._

_Slughorn deposited the treasure safely in his own house and returned to the palace grounds._

_He didn't know that he was being watched by an old woman who lived in a cottage on the edge of the estate. Her name was Minerva. she was the washerwoman who kept the palace's linens soft, white and smelling pleasantly. Looking from behind her drying sheets, Minerva saw the charlatan separate two twigs from King Albus Dumbledore's trees and disappear into the enormous, royal house._

_Horace Slughorn gave one of the twigs to the King and told him that it was a wand of massive, overwhelming power._

_"It will only work, however," said Horace, "when you are worthy of it."_

_Each morning Horace and foolish Albus walked out into the royal house's grounds, where they formed ringlets in the air and yelled nonsense at the sky. Horace was careful to perform more tricks, so that Dumbledore stayed optimistic of his Grand Sorcerer's ability, and of the power of the wands that had cost so much gold._

_One morning, as the charlatan and king were waving their "wands", and jumping in circles, on top of warbling not useful rhymes, a loud chuckling was heard by Albus. Minerva the washerwoman was watching the King and the charlatan from the window of her tiny hut. she was laughing so hard she soon sank out of view, not strong enough to stand any longer._

_"I must look most vulgar, to make the old woman laugh so!" said Albus. He stopped to hop and twirl his twig, and frowned. "I grow bored of practice! When shall I be ready to perform real spells in front of my family and friends, Sorcerer?"_

_Horace tried to calm his student, saying reassuringly that he would seen be adapted at astonishing feats of magic, however Minerva's cackling had stung foolish Albus more than Horace kbew._

_"Tomorrow," the King said, "we shall invite our court to watch their King perform magic"_

_The charlatan saw that the time had come to consume his treasure and flee._

_"Alas, Your majest, it is not possible! I had forgotten to tell Your Majesty that I must set out on a long journey tomorrow ¬"_

_"If you leave this estate without my permission, Sorcerer, my Brigade of Witch-Hunters will hunt you down with their hounds! Tomorrow morning you will help me to perform magic for the benefit of my lords and ladies, and if anybody laughs at me, I shall have you beheaded!"_

_Albus stormed back to the royal house, leaving Horace alone and afraid. Not all his cunning could rescue him now. He couldn't run away, nor could he help Albus dumbledore with magic that neither of them knew. _

_Looking for a vent for his emotions, Horace approached Minerva's window. Peering inside it, he saw the small, wrinkly old lady sitting at her dining table, polishing a wand. In a corner beside her, the royal sheets washed themselves in a wooden tub._

_Horace understood at once that Minerva was a true witch, and that she who had given him this terrible problem could also solve it._

_"Woman!" roared the charlatan. "Your chuckling has cost me dear! If you fail to help me, I shall accuse you_ _as a meddling witch, and it'll be you who is torn into pieces by the King's hounds!"_

_Old Minerva smiled warmly at Horace and assured him that she'd do every single thing in her power to help._

_Horace told her to hide inside a bush while His Majesty gave his magical display, and to perform his spells for him, without his knowledge. Minerva agreed to the plan but asked one question._

_"What, idle sir, if the King tried a spell Minerva cannot perform?"_

_Horace laughed dryly. _

_"Your magic is more than equal to that fool's imagination," he reassured her, and he went back to the castle, well pleased with his own cleverness._

_The next morning all the lords and ladies of the kingdom came to the palace grounds. The King climbed on to a stage in front of them, with Horace bu his side._

_"I shall firstly make that lady's hat vanish!" exclaimed Albus, pointing his twig at a noblewoman. _

_From inside a bush nearby, Minerva pointed her wand at the hat and caused it to disappear. Great was the astonishment and admiration of the crowd, and loud their applause for the King who felt an uplifting joy over his success._

_"Now, I shall make that horse fly!" cried the King, pointing his twig at his own steed,_

_From inside the bush, Minerva pointed her wand at the horse and it flew high into the air._

_The crowd of noblewomen and noblemen were still more thrilled and surprised and they roared their thankfulness of their magical King._

_"And now," said King Albus, looking around for an idea. The Captain of his Brigade of Witch-Hunters ran forwards._

_"Your Majesty," said the Captain, kneeing down, "this very morning, Sabre died of eating a poisonous toadstool! Bring him back to life, Your Majesty, with your magical wand!"_

_And the Captaib heaved on to the stage the lifeless body of the largest of the witch-hunting hounds._

_Foolish King Albus waved his wand and pointed it at the body of the dead dog. But inside the bush, Minerva smiled, and did not trouble to lift her wand, for no magic can raise the dead._

_When the dog did not move, the crowd began first to mutter, and then to laugh loudly. They thought that the King's first two feats had been nothing more than tricks._

_"Why does it not work?" Albus screamed at Horace, who be thought himself on the only way to an indirect, cunning means to reach an end to all this._

_"There, Your majesty, there!" he shouted, pointing at the bush where Minerva sat hidden. "I see her plain, a wicked witch who is meddling with your magic with her own evil spells! Seize her, somebody, seize her!"_

_Minerva fled from the bush, and the Brigade of With-Hunters set off in pursuit, unleashing their hounds, who barked for Minerva's blood. But as she reached a low hedge, the little old witch disappeared. When King Albus, Horace and all the courtiers gained the other side, they found the pack of witch-hunting hounds barking and scrabbling around a bent and aged tree._

_"She's turned herself into a tree!" screamed Horace and, frightened that Minerva turned herself back into a woman and told on him, he added, "Cut her down, Your Majesty, that is the way to treat evil witches like her!"_

_An axe was brought instantly, and the old tree was felled to loud applause from the noblemen and noblewomen, the King's servants and Horace._

_However, as they were making ready to return to the royal house, the sound of loud cackling stopped them in their tracks._

_"Fools!" cried Minerva's voice from the stump they had left behind. "No witch or wizard can be killed by being cut in half! Take the axe, if you do not believe me, and cut the Grand Sorcerer in two!"_

_The Captain of the Brigade of Witch-Hunters was keen to make the experiment, but as he raised the axe Horace fell to his knees, screaming for mercy and confessing all his wickedness. As he was dragged away to the dungeons of the royal house, the tree stump chuckled more loudly than ever,_

_"By cutting a witch in half, you have unleashed a dreadful curse upon yourself and your kingdom!" it told the scared King Albus. "From now on, every stroke of harm that you inflict upon my fellow witches and wizards will fell like an axe stroke on your side, until you will wish you could die of it!_

_At that, King Albus fell onto his knees and told the stump that he would public a proclamation instantly, protecting all the witches and wizards of the kingdom, and allowing them to practice their magic in peace._

_"Very well done," said the stump, "but you have not yet made amends to Minerva!"_

_"Anything, anything at all!" cried foolish Albus._

_"You will build a statue of Minerva upon me, in memory of your poor washerwoman, and to remind you for ever of your foolishness!"_

_Albus dumbledore agreed to it instantly, and promised to hire the foremost sculptor in the land, and have the statue made of pure gold. Then the shamed King Albus and all the noblemen and noblewomen returned to the palace, leaving the tree stump cackling behind them._

_When the estate was deserted once again, there wriggled from a small hole between the roots of the tree stump a shabby grey cat with a wand clamped between her teeth. Minerva ran out of the grounds and far away, and ever after a golden statue of the washerwoman stood upon the stump, and no witch or wizard was ever persecuted in the kingdom again._

_

* * *

_A/N: If there are any spelling mistakes, please point them out to me and I'll try to fix them as soon as possible.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter _3: The tale of the three brothers_**

"Where did Severus say he put the phial with the antidote for the three-headed snakes?" Madam Pomfrey asked herself, scratching her head. She stood in Severus's office, looking for a potion the man brew yesterday when he found out that the fifth years would see some three-headed snakes in Care for Magical Beasts today. Three students had been bitten by these poisonous snakes. Luckily the creatures' poison wasn't strong enough to kill a person (otherwise Hagrid would never have been allowed to have them), but it was painful.

Madam Pomfrey looked at the desk. There lay one parchment. Knowing that she shouldn't read it she "looked" at it. A few minutes later she erupted in laughter. It was hilarious imagining Albus as a foolish king, Horace as a charlatan and Minerva as an old and wrinkly washerwoman! If she'd found out about this then she would behead Severus for sure.

"Ah, there it is!" Poppy said, seeing the phial stand on a shelf. She grabbed it and left the room, still smiling.

Back at the infirmary ward she saw the students wringing in pain. Harry Potter, Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger had helped Hagrid out in the lesson. One of the snakes had attacked Ron. Harry came to his help. As Hermione tried to save them from being bitten the snake got aggressive and gave all three a dose of her weapon.

"So, here is your medicine," Poppy said to Hermione and held a tablespoon with the brown liquid to Hermione. Grimacing she gulped it down.

"EWE!" Ron exclaimed, spitting it out. "That tastes disgusting!"

"At least it stops the pain," Hermione snapped at him after she had drunken her portion. "And Harry, don't even dare say anything against it! After all you wanted to help Hagrid and You, Ronald, were the one trying to kill the snake! No wonder that she attacked you."

Madam Pomfrey shook her head and went back into her office, leaving the three to quarrel as long as they wanted.

She sat at her desk, bored. Thinking about the story in Severus's office she laughed again, and then Poppy came up with the most absurd idea she ever had. She took a quill, a bottle of ink and a sheet of parchment, and begun to write.

_Once upon a time, there were three friends: Ronald, Harry and Hermione. They were traveling along an abandoned, curving road at sunset. after a while the siblings reached a river too deep to drudge through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these siblings were well-educated in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the unsafe and wicked water. Ronald, Hermione and Harry were halfway across it when a hooded creature blocked their path._

_And You-Know-Who spoke to them. He was furious that he'd been cheated out of three new soldiers for his army against Albus Dumbledore, for travelers usually drowned and he used their corps as inferi. However You-Know-Who was clever. He made them believe that he congratulated the three siblings upon their magic, and said that each had earned a prize for having been witty enough to trick him._

_So Ronald , the oldest friend, who was a gladiatorial man, asked for a wand more powerful than any in existence: a wand that must always win duels for its owner, a wand worthy of a wizard who had conquered You-Know-Who! So You-Know-Who crossed to an elder tree on the banks of the river, made a wand from a branch that hung there, and gave it to the oldest brother._

_Then Harry, the second oldest friend, who was a bossy and high-handed man, decided that he wanted to humiliate You-Know-Who even further, and asked for the power to recall others from Death. So You-Know-Who picked up a stone from the riverbank and gave it to Harry, telling him that the stone would have the power to bring back the dead._

_And then You-Know-Who asked the third and youngest friend, Hermione, what she'd like. Hermione was the most intelligent and wisest of the siblings, and she did not trust You-Know-Who. So Hermione asked for something that would enable her to go forth from the place without being followed by You-Know-Who. And You-Know-You, most reluctantly, gave her his own Cloak of Invisibility. _

_Then You-Know-Who stood aside and allowed Hermione, Harry and Ronald to continue on their way and they did so, chatting with wonder of the adventure they'd had, and looked in delight at You-Know-Who's gifts. _

_In due course, they all separated, each for his own destination._

_Ronald traveled on for about a week. He reached a distant village and sought out a fellow wizard with whom he had an argument. Of course, with the Elder Wand as his weapon, he could not lose the following duel. Leaving his enemy dead upon the floor, the oldest sibling proceeded to a pup, where he talked loudly of the powerful wand he had snatched from You-Know-Who himself, and how it made him unbeatable._

_That same night, another wizard crept upon Ronald as he lay, drunken, on his bed. The man took the wand and, for pleasant means, cut through the oldest friend's throat._

_And so You-Know-Who took the first friend for his army._

_At the same time, Harry journeyed to his own home, where he lived alone. Here he took the stone that had the power to recall the dead out of his pocket, and turned in three times in his hand. To his surprise and satisfaction, the figures of his parents he had once hoped to get to know before their untimely death after his birth appeared before him._

_Yet there were silent and unresponsive, separated from him as though by a shield. Though they had returned to the mortal world, they did not truly belong there and suffered. Finally, the second friend, driven mad with hopeless longing, killed himself as to truly join them._

_And so You-Know-Who took Harry for his army._

_But though You-Know-Who searched for the third friend for many, many years, he wasn't able to find her. Only when Hermione had attained a great age did she finally take off the Cloak of Invisibility and gave it to her daughter. And then she greeted You-Know-Who as an old friend, and went with him happily, and she too was token for his army.  
_

_

* * *

_A/N: If there are any spelling mistakes, please point them out to me and I'll try to fix them as soon as possible.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter _4: The Fountain of Fair Fortune_**

"It seems you know the golden trio better than I do," Minerva laughed. She had read all three stories that had been written so far. Madam Pomfrey had given them to her.

"Well, they do spend quiet a lot of time in the infirmary," Poppy pointed out.

"Yes, you're right. Let's see if I too can rewrite one of Beedle's tales. But this time, other than in the story Albus wrote, Severus shall live happily ever after."

"Aren't you angry at him for using you as Babbity Rabbity?" Poppy asked.

"Oh, after all I _am_ quiet old and wrinkly, aren't I?"

* * *

_On top of a hill in an enchanted garden, locked in with tall walls and protected by strong magic, flowed the Fountain of Fair Fortune._

_Once every twelve months, between the time of break of day and close of day, when the largest amount of this time was to be, a single unfortunate was given the chance to fight their way to the Fountain, bathe in its waters and receive Fair Fortune for evermore._

_On the chosen day, hundreds of people traveled from all over the kingdom to reach the garden walls before dawn. Male and female, rich and poor, young and old, learned in the magical arts and not, they gathered in the darkness, each hoping that they would be the one to gain entrance to the garden._

_Three witches, each with her burden of agony and suffering, met on the edge of the crowd, and told one another their misfortune as they waited for sunrise._

_The first, by name Poppy, was sick of a malady no Healer could cure. She hoped that the Fountain would banish her symptoms and grant her a long and happy life._

_The second, by name Pomona, had been robbed of her home, her gold and her wand by an evil enchanter. She hoped that the Fountain might relieve her of powerlessness and poorness._

_The third, by name Lily, had been deserted by a man, called James, whom she loved dearly, and she thought her heart would never recover. She hoped that the Fountain would relieve her of her grief and longing._

_Pitying each other, Lily, Poppy and Pomona agreed that, should the chance befall them, they would unite and try to reach the Fountain together._

_The sky was rent with the first ray of sun, and a split in the wall opened. The crowd surged forward, each of them shrieking their claim for the Fountain's blessing. Creepers from the garden beyond snaked through the pressing mass, and twisted themselves around the first witch, Poppy. She clutched the wrist of the second witch, Pomona, who seized tight upon the cloak of the third witch, Lily._

_And Lily became caught upon the armor of a dismal-looking knight who was seated on a bone-thin horse._

_The creepers tugged the three witches through the chink in the wall, and the knight was dragged off his steed after them._

_The most angry screams of the disappointed large crowd rose upon the morning air, then fell as silent as a dead person as the garden walls sealed once more._

_Poppy and Pomona were angry with Lily, who had accidentally brought along the knight. _

_"Only one can bath in the Fountain! It will be hard enough to decide which of us it will be, without adding another!"_

_Now, Sir Snape, as the knight was known in the land outside the walls, observed that these were witches, and, having no magic, nor any great skill at fighting or dueling with swords, nor anything that distinguished the non-magical man, was sure that he had no hope of winning the chance to bathe in the Fountain with these three women. so he declared his intention of withdrawing outside the walls again._

_At this, Lily became angry too._

_"Faint heart!" she scolded him. "Draw your sword, Knight, and help us reach our goal!"_

_And so the three witches Pomona, Poppy and Lily and the forlorn knight Sir Snape ventured forth into the enchanted garden, where out of ordinary herbs, fruit and flowers grew in abundance on either side of the sunlit paths. They met no barrier until they reached the foot of the hill on which the Fountain stood._

_There, however, wrapped around the base of the hill, was a abnormal and inhuman white Worm, bloated and blind. at their approach, it turned a disgusting and despicable face upon them, and uttered the following words:_

_"Pay me the proof of your pain."_

_Sir Snape drew his sword and tried to kill the monster, but his blade snapped in two. Then Pomona cast rocks at the Worm, while Poppy and Lily essayed every spell and charm that might subdue or entrance it, but the power of their wands was no more effective than their friend's stone, or the knight's steel: the Worm would not let them pass._

_The sun rose taller and taller in the sky, and Poppy, despairing, burst into tears._

_Then the huge Worm placed its face upon hers and drank the tears from her cheeks. Its thirst lessened, the beast slithered aside, and disappeared into a hole in the ground._

_Celebrating the Worm's disappearance, Lily, Poppy and Pomona and Sir Snape began to climb the hill, sure that they would reach the Fountain before noon._

_Halfway up the steep slope, however, they came across words cut into the ground before them._

_Pay me the fruit of your labours._

_Sir Snape took his only coin, and placed it upon the grassy hillside, but it rolled away and was lost. The three witches and the knight continued to climb, but though they walked for hours and hours, they advanced not a step; the crowing point came no nearer, and still the inscription lay in the earth before them._

_All were discouraged as the sun rose over their heads and began to sink towards the far horizon, but Pomona walked faster and harder than any of them, and supported the others to follow her example, though she moved no further up the enchanted hill._

_"Courage, friends, and do not give in!" she cried, wiping the sweat from her brow._

_As the drops fell sparkling on to the earth, the inscription blocking their path vanished, and they found that they were able to move upwards once more._

_Amazed by the removal of this second obstacle, they hurried towards the crowning point as fast as they could, until at last they saw the Fountain, glittering bright like crystal in a leafy shelter of flowers and trees._

_Before they could reach it, however, they came to a river that ran round the hilltop, barricading their way. In the depths of the clear water lay a smooth stone bearing the words:_

_Pay me the treasure of your past._

_Sir Snape attempted to float across the stream on his shield, but it sank. Pomona, Lilly and Poppy pulled him from the water, then tried to leap the watercourse themselves, but it would not let them cross, and all the while the sun was sinking lower in the sky._

_So they fell to figure out the meaning of the stone's message, and Lily was the first to understand. Taking her wand, she drew from her mind all the memories of happy times she had spent with her vanished lover, and dropped them into the rushing waters. The river swept them away, and stepping stones appeared, and Poppy, Lily and Pomona and Sir Snape were able to pass at last on to the crowning point of the hill._

_The Fountain shimmered before them, set amidst herbs and flowers more out of ordinary and more precious-looking than any had yet seen. The sky burned ruby, and it was time to decide which of them would bathe._

_Before they could make the decision, however, frail Poppy fell to the ground. Exhausted by their struggle to the crowning point, she was close to be Death's newest victim. _

_Her three friends would have carried her to the Fountain, but Poppy was mortally suffering and begged them not to touch her._

_Then Pomona hastened to pick all those herbs she thought most hopeful, and mixed them in Sir Snape's gourd of water, and then poured the potion ino Poppy's mouth._

_Instantly, Poppy was able to stand. What was more, all symptoms of her dread malady had vanished._

_"I am cured!" she cried. "I have no need of the Fountain - let Pomona bathe in it!"_

_However, Pomona was busy collecting more herbs in her apron._

_"If I can cure this disease, I shall earn enough gold to pay for my living! Let lily bathe in the Fountain!"_

_Sir Snape bowed, and gestured Lily towards the Fountain, but she shook her head. The stream had washed away all regret for her lover, and she saw now that he had been disloyal and evil, and that it was happiness enough to be rid of him._

_"Good sir, you must bathe, as a reward for your chivalry," she told Sir Snape._

_So the knight clanked forth in the last rays of the setting sun, and bathed in the Fountain of Fair Fortune, amazed that he was the chosen one of hundreds and brainless with his incredible luck._

_As the sun fell below the horizon, Sir Snape emerged from the waters with the glory of his triumph upon him, and flung himself in his rusted armor at the feet of Lily, who was the kindest and most physically attractive woman he had ever met. Flushed with success, he begged for her hand and her heart, and Lily, no less amazed, realized that she had found a man worthy of them._

_The three witches Pomona, poppy and Lily and the knight Sir Snape set off down the hill together, arm in arm, and all four led long and happy lives, and none of them ever knew or suspected that the Fountain of Fair Fortune's waters carried no enchantment at all.  
_

_

* * *

_A/N: If there are any spelling mistakes, please point them out to me and I'll try to fix them as soon as possible.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: The Wizard and the Hopping Pot**

_There was once a kindly old wizard - Albus Dumbledore - who used his magic generously and wisely for the benefit of his neighbors. Rather than reveal the true source of his power, he pretended that his potions, spells and antidotes sprang ready-made from the small cauldron he called his lucky cooking pot. From mules around people - young, old, rich, poor - came to him with their woes, and Albus was pleased to give his pot a stir and put things right again._

_This well-beloved wizard lived to a goodly age, then died, leaving all his things to his only student: Tom Riddle. This student was of a total different disposition to his gentle teacher. Those who could not magic were, to Tom's mind, worthless, and he had often fought with his teacher's habit of giving magical aid to their neighbors. _

_Upon Albus' death, Tom found hidden inside the old cooking pot a small package bearing his name. He opened it, hoping for gold, but found instead a soft, thick slipper, much too small to wear, and with no pair. A piece of parchment of parchment within the slipper bore the words "In the find hope, my student, that you will never need it."_

_Tom cursed his teacher's age-softened mind, then threw the slipper back into the cauldron, making a mental note to use it henceforth as a rubbish pail._

_That very night a farmer woman knocked on the front door. _

_"My granddaughter is suffering a painful ailment by a crop of warts, sir," she told Tom. "Your teacher used to mix a special potion in that old cooking pot -"_

_"Begone!" cried Tom. "What care I for your brat's warts?"_

_And he threw the door closed into the woman's face._

_Instantly there came a loud clanging and banging from his kitchen. The wizard lit his wand and opened the door, and there, to his surprise, he saw his teacher's old cooking pot: it had grown a single foot of brass, and was hopping on the spot, in the middle of the, making a fearful noise upon the flagstones. Tom approached it in wonder, but fell back hurriedly when he saw that the whole of the pot's surface was covered it warts _

_"Disgusting object!" Tom shouted, and he tried firstly to vanish the pot, then to clean it by magic, and finally to force it to go out of the house. None of his spells worked, however, and he was unable to prevent the cauldron from hopping after him out of the kitchen, and then following him up to the second floor to his bedroom and banging loudly on every wooden stair._

_Tom could not sleep all night for the noise the warty old cooking pot made bu his bedside, and next morning the cauldron insisted upon hopping after him to the breakfast table. _Clang, clang, clang_, went the brass-footed cauldron, and Tom had not even started his porridge when there came another knock on the door._

_A man stood on the doorstep._

_"'Tis my old donkey, sir," he said. "Lost, she is, or stolen, and without her I cannot take my wares to the market, and my family will go hungry tonight."_

_"And I'm hungry now!" roared Tom, and he threw the door closed upon the old man._

_Clang, clang, clang, went the pot's single brass foot upon the floor, however now its clamor was mixed with the brays of a donkey and human moans and cries of hunger, echoing from the depth of the cauldron._

_"Be still. Be silent!" shouted Tom, but not all his magical powers could quieten the warty pot, which hopped at his feet all day, braying and moaning and clanging, no matter where he went or what he did._

_That evening there came a third knock on the door, and there on the doormat stood a young woman crying and sobbing as though her heart would break._

_"My baby is seriously, harmfully ill," she sniffed, "Won't you please help us? Your teacher bade me come if troubled -"_

_However, Tom had smalled the door shut, and now the tormenting pot filled to the top with salt water, and splashed tears all over the floor as it hopped, and whined, and moaned, and sprouted more warts._

_Though no more villagers came to seek help at Tom's cottage for the rest of the week, the cauldron kept him informed of their many troubles. Within a few days, it was not only whining and moaning and splashing and hopping and growing warts, it was also choking and retching, crying like a baby, whining like a dog, and spitting out ad cheese and sour milk and a plague of hungry slugs._

_The wizard could not sleep or eat with the cauldron beside him, but the pot refused to leave, and he could not silence it or force it to be still._

_At last Tom could bear it no more._

_"Bring me all your problems, all you troubles and sorrows!" he screamed, fleeing into the night, with the old cooking pot behind him along the road of the village.. "come! Let me cure you, mend you and comfort you! I have my teacher's cooking pot, and I shall make you well"_

_And with the foul cauldron still hopping along behind him, Tom ran up the street, casting spells and charms in every direction._

_Inside one house the little girl's warts vanished in her sleep; the sick baby was drenched in dittany and woke, well and rosy; the lost donkey was summoned from a distant woodland patch and set down gently in its stable. At every house of sickness and suffer, Tom did his best, and gradually the cauldron next to him stopped moaning and retching, and became quiet, clean and glistening._

_"Well, Pot?" asked the trembling wizard, as the sun began to rise._

_The pot burped out the single slipper he had thrown into it, and permitted him to fit it on to the brass foot. Together they set off back to Tom's house, the cauldron's footsteps muffled at last. But from that day on forth, the wizard Tom Riddle helped the villagers like his teacher Albus Dumbledore before him, for fear that the pot cast off its slipper, and begin to hop once more.  
_

Albus put the quill down and looked at the final tale. How weird it was that one single argument led to rewriting a whole book.

_

* * *

_A/N: If there are any spelling mistakes, please point them out to me and I'll try to fix them as soon as possible. As this is the last chapter, I thank for the reviews.


End file.
